I want...

... Gates' head on a platter. Roasted, please.

I have had it with stupid, shitty software that MS not only forces upon us because he owns a large majority of the sale market but because large corporations either have bought a share of Microsoft or in some convoluted way prefer to use Microsoft because they've made it so easy for anyone to point and click.

I have spent ages trying to fight with Microsoft Word over many things. The most recent beef is that it has a tendency to screw with my boy's thesis. I just spent another night restoring images that MS Word tossed and tables it corrupted.

I spent even more time fighting with Crystal Reports, which is also another Microsoft thing I imagine. See previous post for why CR drives me nuts.

I've spent time fighting with Excel's supposed hacked-up version of "if/else" statements. If there's smart programmers over at Microsoft, I'd be impressed! What they came up with for Excel was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

Oh, and the other day I spent time fighting with the fact that IE wouldn't recognize a page change because although the database was updated to include that value, it refused to realize that and even after a page cache clean, a history clean, and a cookies clean. I had to close the fricking browser and then reopen it. Are you kidding me?

You've GOT to be...

... kidding me. I haven't touched Crystal in months, I created two successful reports with it last time for the last requirements, and you mean to tell me that somehow it managed to corrupt somewhere?

It opens fine, no problem. It allows you to create a report, no problem. Now, when you use the wizard, that's when it gets interesting. Step 1, add a table to the report. Now, it's a bit difficult when you click all the right buttons and the table still disappears! Kinda hard to do a report with no data.

Fine, resort to backup plan, do it by hand. No such luck, it won't allow you to create a new report.

What the???

Reinstall 2x. No such luck, same problem. So finally full deinstall, followed by a full reinstall. This solves the problem but it leads me back to the question in the first place...

How did the program manage to corrupt itself when I haven't touched it for 2 months??

My workplace...

... will think I'm nuts if I ask for a third big vacation for the third consecutive year in a row.

Last year, I went to Denmark before I started work. It fit quite neatly in between the two work things. This year my vacation request is again to go to Denmark, and hopefully squeeze in a few other European countries I haven't visited yet like Sweden and Norway.

Next year there is a possibility to land in Capetown, South Africa with my darling boy. At the rate I'm going they're going to think I'm made of money. Flying to South Africa is definetly not cheap. Flying to Denmark isn't cheap either.

Also, there are all these other world destinations that he and I have yet to go to, but it is on our list of to-do's for the long run.

Life...

... there are those of us that thrive on instability. Life's an adventure and you only live it once; there are those that are willing to plug their nose and cannonball in, and those that are gonna stick a toe in, proclaim death of cold and look for the mundane, set schedule in life.

I do things not for others, but for me. I want to look back and be able to say "I did that once upon a time." As is with dragonboat, executive on a committee, choir, and many other adventures that I've gone on and have retained fond memories of. Sometimes my machinations in life do include special people in my life and they know who they are; in fact, they are either caught up in the same machinations or they are an additional cogwheel which forces my spin another way; for another perspective. It is so easy to be caught up in oneself that sometimes a good crack on the skull is welcome relief; and knowledge that although certain things in life force selfishness, not all do. They know who they are, especially when they read this entry.

When I go through life there is always a grand purpose, or rather a lifetime goal that underscores many things that I do. It seems simple, but there is more to it than what is apparent on the surface. I don't mind because it's not a goal to be achieved in a moment, or in a few weeks, months, or day; it's something that powers the way I live life. I know that I am luckier than most by having a roof over my head, food to eat, clothing to wear. It is not so apparent in our city here, but once you journey through cities where people pickpocket to stay alive; or fight till death you are shamed into realizing that what you take for granted is only a dream to some others. Beholden with that knowledge, I hope that a kind gesture here, a brief smile exchanged on the street, a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on in grief is a moment of kindness one will always remember.

Perhaps that is why I did not fully implicate the two students I found cheating in my lab one day.
Perhaps that is why every year, I treat my boyfriend's family as my own and spend a fortune in shipping.
Perhaps that is why I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning listening to a heartbroken voice.
Perhaps that is why I intervened once to save a beautiful relationship not worth losing.

And so many other things I have done over the years.

I know life is so vast that it's hard to do it all, but I mark the life that I have lived upon simple things such as these and know that my life is fulfilled through the music, laughter, and knowledge that I gain. My favorite moments in life are those that are returned although the simple moments are given out without any expected reciprocation.

I've decided...

... I hate this distance. I hate not knowing where he is and I hate not being able to reach him.

Before any one of you says anything remember that I've done this for over 2 years now and the only thing keeping me sane is that I love him. And I know he loves me unconditionally back.

I've had enough. While all of you out there with your significant others can hold each other, snuggle, cuddle, kiss, and all that sappy crap, guess what I've got? A phone and a fricking webcam.

Do you know how poor of a substitute that is for a real live human being?!?

I don't want to hear any one of you say, "if you can't live without him for a few weeks then I really have to wonder about you" because if you do I'm not responsible for anything that comes out of my mouth which may upset, offend, or hurt you. Because I've lived without him for nearing 2 1/2 years now.

Danceresults.com...

... I was checking links today for the future UCBDC site and figured that I'd see how Geoff and I really did at Danceresults.com.

Not entirely surprised at placing 4th in Bronze since that was announced at CCC, but here was the real surprise. Out of 12 couples, there being a tie for 8th and 11th place, Geoff and I had actually placed 7th in Silver - one place away from competing in the finals round. I hadn't expected us to place so high given some of the talent that was there that afternoon.

We also beat our old competition, Mladin and Barbara again.

I guess we did better than I had expected, being our first time in Silver, 3rd time competing, and just going out there to have fun regardless of placings. After all, Di once said, "If you go out there to impress the judges, you'll choke. But if you go out there to enjoy your few minutes of fame, you'll be just fine."

Sunny day...

... in downtown Calgary and certain thoughts are rolling about in my head.

I know my bear is pulling all these crazy hours to try and finish his thesis a month before he has to defend. Then he comes home and this trans-atlantic thing is over. I don't like it, nor do I have to but it's just a necessity.

I love my big bear. :)

When you can call your boy at any hour of the morning and he's in the lab working his butt off, sleeping a couple hours a night, you know that he's gone beyond busy - his schedule is now reaching insanity, or in the recent case of a 22 hour stint at the lab, inhuman. Amazing how little sleep computer scientists can run on.

Two and a half years of a relationship spanning the ocean. Looking back the time passing then was definetly difficult, but I sit here nearing the end of the tunnel and realize that regardless of how, time does continue to pass on. For two people to hang on for so long at such a large distance shows a love so dedicated that others find it amazing.